Hello my friends, it’s been a long time… and since I’m all about honesty these days, I just haven’t had anything to blog about or really felt the urge too. Whether that is good or bad, who knows, does it really matter that much??
When I started this blog in 2014 I was in the infancy of sobriety and filled with overwhelming feelings and lots of self doubt. I was terrified of my own feelings, and of relapsing. I often felt like a ball in a pinball machine bouncing off in every direction, sometimes with no direction. The blog gave me an outlet to express such feelings and insecurities, especially since it was and still is easier to express myself on paper.
I was completely amazed and humbled at the response the blog received; the comments, the friendships made via the blogging world. Many who like me, used the blog to tell their story of sobriety and recovery….the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Fast forward 3.5 years, and I am firmly planted in my sobriety. It is my number one priority(as it always will be), but my focus has shifted to the daily sometimes mundane things in life. I’m not complaining by any means. I am truly grateful that my life is not a shit show like it was for years. I am also not constantly looking over my shoulder waiting for the bad stuff to happen…. if and when it does, I have the tools to get through it, in a healthy way.
These days m&m, work, relationships, making ends meet, deciding what to cook for dinner, whether to sign up for another half marathon, what to watch on Netflix, and deciding how long I can keep clean laundry in the basket before re-drying it fills my day.
Is this worthy of a blog? Did I really even want to write about this? I didn’t think so. I took time to pause, reflect, and discuss it with fellow bloggers and friends. Was it time to retire the blog or go in another direction? If so what direction would that be?
After much thought I have to decided to keep on blogging, but the primary focus is not going to be recovery and sobriety. It’s going to focus on my every day life journey and the struggles that occur on this journey. My recovery will obviously play a key role, but my posts may be about what’s for dinner, or the ups and downs being a mom, a single parent, a girlfriend, a nurse, a runner, a 41 year old woman, a sister, a daughter, a people pleaser, a neat freak who hates to do laundry and grocery shop….and I could go on and on…:) .
I realized that I blog for me. It doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks about me or what I write. In all honesty, it is none of my business. I do it for me, and if something I write touches someone reading my words then that’s awesome. If i can laugh at myself and see that there is gratitude in EVERY situation even better! I know that I am not the only one struggling out there with the day to day ideocintries of life. 😊
My new mantra…