Oh yes, those pesky expectations causing havoc in my head. It is MY expectations that cause the unrest. This unrest causes me to become my own worst enemy. Self doubt & negativity take over. The ‘I can’t, I wont, & I shouldn’t’ take center stage.
When this happens I run the risk of feeling resentful, & that my friends is a slippery slope for an alcoholic like me.
So, as of late when I become disappointed in myself because I didn’t accomplish a goal as I expected myself to. Or an individual in my life doesn’t respond or behave in a way that I think they should, my first thought (& second) is always to beat myself up mentally & emotionally.
Why? All this does is set me up for resentments & self doubt. My expectations are just that, MINE. I want what I want when I want it no matter what. I also expect others to think the same. So when reality sets in, & things dont go exactly as I expected, the anger, sadness, & pity party begins. So in essence this is a whole bunch of self centered behavior. I’m not saying not to have goals, aspirations, & self confidence. God knows I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t believe in my self, if I didn’t have hope.
Hope that is what its all about. Hope that the hard work & dedication will pay off. The hope that they will like me as I am, & if not oh well. The hope that I can live the best life I was meant to live. The hope that I will continue to believe in myself & in others.
Funny….as I write, my perspective changes….. I started this post with a different mindset. But you know what, its exactly what I needed at this exact time. Just goes to show that there is something, or someone bigger than me who knows exactly what I need.