A lesson learned

“You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself”

Glinda,  Wizard of Oz

Ok, so I realize this quote is from a fictional character in a world-famous movie, but it really resonates with me.  For much of my adult life I hid behind the shadows of others, behind shame, and behind fear.  I constantly worried about what others thought of  me and was always the people pleaser. Too many times I compromised my beliefs, my opinions, my wants and needs because I was too afraid to speak up for myself.

When I drank, those fears and insecurities disappeared, or so I thought.  I exuded self-confidence, or so I thought.  I had power, or so I thought.

That’s the cunning, powerful, and baffling part of addiction.  It is the great and masterful impersonator.  An almighty manipulator.  A chameleon ready to pounce at its victims weakest point.

My addiction had all the power, I was fooled time and time again.  It wasn’t until I fully surrendered that my view-point changed.  I took back the power when I admitted that I was (still am) completely and utterly powerless over alcohol.  One drink is too many and 5 or 6 is never enough.

I have the power to make choices. If  I make the choice (God forbid), to pick up a drink, game over.  For this reason I say the First Step whenever need be :”We admitted  we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Powerless over alcohol, yes, but I am taking back the power over my feelings, my happiness, my beliefs, and my dreams.  Although my power never really disappeared, it was just a bit tarnished.

2 thoughts on “A lesson learned

  1. Your response made me chuckle:)
    You are so correct! We are not victims!! Nor do I want a pity party. I just need to take care of my side of the street, one day at a time:) I’m so much happier today, knowing all I know, and so eager to know more!
    Thanks for your support Paul!!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yes! There is a line that is used a LOT in the rooms, and it drives me a bit batty – people say they are powerless over people, places and things. Rubbish! I may be powerless over alcohol, or alcoholism, but to everything else? C’mon, I didn’t get sober to cower in a corner.

    I may not have control over what people say or do, or perhaps was is going on around me (weather, politics, work stuff, etc), but I have all the power in the world to adjust and to respond to those things as I see fit. I hope that I do out of love and according to His will. And my HP is where I get that juice from.

    We have power over so much, and I don’t mean in an egocentric, macho BS kind of way. We have power to make choices that are in line with our beliefs and principles. We have that power. If I don’t want to stay at a party, I get my ass out of there. That’s a power of choice I have.

    Great post!


    Liked by 2 people

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